Is it any wonder why Americans are so dumb? Look who they consider their best representative.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Too much coffee before the city council meeting?
The only thing funnier than a stupid American is a stupid, angry American.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
President Bush Writes Letter to Iranian President Ahmadinejad
Dearest Mahmoud,
Even though we're on different sides on the planet, several miles apart, we still look up and see the same moon, the same stars, and the same television programs. Just like you, I found out about the National Intelligence Estimate report release while watching The View. Who's your favourite host? I like Elizabeth, and I'm so happy that she kicked Rosie off the show. Doesn't Barbara Walters remind you of Elmer Fudd? Me too.
But I regress. I suppose you're wondering why I didn't stop that NIE report before it got out. To be frank, I though it would spark the fire of our relationship together and bring back the excitement. Ever since the thing with the British semen you arrested, I've felt our relationship change. Once apon a time, you hated us Americans with passion - but now it's like you stopped investing your heart in us. You barely even offer sarcastic contempt, let alone genuine loathing, and I thought that leaking the NIE report might replenish the passion we once had for hating one another's country.
When you came to visit us in this year, you didn't care enough to do those "little things" that make all the difference. Where was the profanity? Where was the Hitler comparisons? Why, you didn't even pause to urinate on the White House lawn. Whatever. Well, anyway, I hope this report will re-energize you to focus on hating us more. Just to be sure, I'm going to have a press conference to tell everyone that even though you aren't making bombs, you still might make bombs someday. I'm sorry it had to come to this, but hopefully your hatred for America will be renewed and it won't have to happen again.
With All My Heart,
Georgie.
PS: Have I told you lately how cute you are? ;-)
Even though we're on different sides on the planet, several miles apart, we still look up and see the same moon, the same stars, and the same television programs. Just like you, I found out about the National Intelligence Estimate report release while watching The View. Who's your favourite host? I like Elizabeth, and I'm so happy that she kicked Rosie off the show. Doesn't Barbara Walters remind you of Elmer Fudd? Me too.
But I regress. I suppose you're wondering why I didn't stop that NIE report before it got out. To be frank, I though it would spark the fire of our relationship together and bring back the excitement. Ever since the thing with the British semen you arrested, I've felt our relationship change. Once apon a time, you hated us Americans with passion - but now it's like you stopped investing your heart in us. You barely even offer sarcastic contempt, let alone genuine loathing, and I thought that leaking the NIE report might replenish the passion we once had for hating one another's country.
When you came to visit us in this year, you didn't care enough to do those "little things" that make all the difference. Where was the profanity? Where was the Hitler comparisons? Why, you didn't even pause to urinate on the White House lawn. Whatever. Well, anyway, I hope this report will re-energize you to focus on hating us more. Just to be sure, I'm going to have a press conference to tell everyone that even though you aren't making bombs, you still might make bombs someday. I'm sorry it had to come to this, but hopefully your hatred for America will be renewed and it won't have to happen again.
With All My Heart,
Georgie.
PS: Have I told you lately how cute you are? ;-)
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Chase Sampson's brain blows a fuse on Millionaire
I'll bet this guy often wonders why his fuses keep blowing every time he tries to fix a leaky faucet with a power-bar.
"That's the last stick! I can't take it anymore!!"
Luckily he didn't choose "D" as his answer, as Canada doesn't grant visas to people this dumb.
Lorraine Puleo wanted to be a millionaire...
Lorraine Puleo is:
A) Stupid
B) Dumb
C) Moronic
D) All of the Above
To be fair, she was thinking about a bulleted list, which frequently uses a circular black dot. Regardless, a bullet is not a period.
"Why I hate America" by the Mad Dane
The Mad Dane has a witty list of reason why he hates American. Reason number one? "Because they're so stupid." Well worth a read!
Read: Why I hate America by the Mad Dane
Read: Why I hate America by the Mad Dane
Does Wal-Mart hate Americans as much as we do?
According to Mark's Daily Apple, the answer is a resounding "Indeed!" Check out his article "We couldn't possibly hate Americans any more (Love, Wal-Mart)." Nice to know we're not alone in our loathing.
Take the 'STUPID AMERICAN' test
Now this is a beautiful thing. This young man doesn't ask random questions about Canada, Europe or obscure historical trivia - he simply asks about those documents Americans hold most dear, namely their constitution and bill of rights. Also read blogger Donna M's comments on the test.
Talking to Americans part 6 of 6 (The End)
Canadian comedian Rick Mercer travels south of the 49th parallel to talk with Americans... who unfortunately talk back.
Talking to Americans part 5 of 6
Canadian comedian Rick Mercer travels south of the 49th parallel to talk with Americans... who unfortunately talk back.
Talking to Americans part 4 of 6
Canadian comedian Rick Mercer travels south of the 49th parallel to talk with Americans... who unfortunately talk back.
Talking to Americans part 3 of 6
Canadian comedian Rick Mercer travels south of the 49th parallel to talk with Americans... who unfortunately talk back.
Talking to Americans part 2 of 6
Canadian comedian Rick Mercer travels south of the 49th parallel to talk with Americans... who unfortunately talk back.
Talking to Americans part 1 of 6
Canadian comedian Rick Mercer travels south of the 49th parallel to talk with Americans... who unfortunately talk back.
Stupid Wrestlers
Wrestling, also known as "the soap opera for rednecks," is moronic enough on it's own. Here's some clips of what happens when the morons make mistakes.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Presidential Speechalist
A classic short starring Andy Dick. When the leader of the nation is that retarded, is it any wonder that Americans are so messed up.
Driving While American
This poor misguided citizen demonstrates why it is so dangerous to drive while suffering from the disease of being American.
We Hate Americans
Do you hate Americans? Wow! We do too! What a coincidence!
Actually, while many have identified the "Internet" as being the most important unifying factor of the global community, that assertion is only half-true. Hatred of the government, citizens and policies of the United States of America is truly the one thing that every person on the planet can agree on (outside of the US), and the internet merely provides a medium for the global community to engage in the free exchange of reasons to hate Americans.
We Canadians share a very special relationship with our American cousins due to our proximity and the ongoing economic & political relationships with them. We tend to think of America as our retarded cousin... we don't really want to play with them, but mom says we have to, even if it means getting covered in drool. However, that doesn't mean we can't make fun of them when mom's not looking! So let the pointing and laughing begin...
Actually, while many have identified the "Internet" as being the most important unifying factor of the global community, that assertion is only half-true. Hatred of the government, citizens and policies of the United States of America is truly the one thing that every person on the planet can agree on (outside of the US), and the internet merely provides a medium for the global community to engage in the free exchange of reasons to hate Americans.
We Canadians share a very special relationship with our American cousins due to our proximity and the ongoing economic & political relationships with them. We tend to think of America as our retarded cousin... we don't really want to play with them, but mom says we have to, even if it means getting covered in drool. However, that doesn't mean we can't make fun of them when mom's not looking! So let the pointing and laughing begin...
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